Every once in a while I feel like there's so much I want to think about, write about, and talk about, that I just can't get it all out. Sometimes I sit down with my journal and try writing there, but usually it sort of just ends up a bunch of rambling on about nothing.
That's how I'm feeling right now.
See, now I'm sitting here trying to decide what to say next.
I miss my Russell. We'll be together again on Sunday, and in the meantime we send love texts.
I have such high hopes and big dreams for us, and for our family. I've always had a "vision" of what my life was going to be when I was a mother, and I'm still working on making it a reality. There are parts of that vision that I have the ability to create, and there are other parts that require patience from me. The Lord's timing isn't always the same as mine, and I'm still learning to wait on Him. Some days I do really well, and other days I seem to struggle a little more with the waiting.
I think one of the reasons it's hard for me to wait is that then I think "What if "whatever" doesn't ever come?" "What if it's always going to be this way?" I'm working really hard to accept that some things may never really be the way I always envisioned them. I'm working on believing that maybe there's a better way than I had "planned". Maybe there are lessons I need to learn, or my husband, or even my kids.
But it's still a challenge.
I can't wait to see my husband Sunday. He completes me.